1. Give your son a real job in the house now. Dr. Samuel sees young men leaving for college who can't manage laundry or dishes, and he traces it to boys who were never needed at home.
2. Say yes when the little ones grab the broom. Two, three and four year olds want to help, and the Maya treat that urge as worth years of patience, even when the job gets done badly.
3. Correct less than you think you should. Shaun's golf outings with his son only clicked once he stopped instructing and simply played beside him, letting him learn by watching and trying.
4. Let natural consequences do some of the teaching. Taking away a phone is a manufactured consequence. Roaches in a kitchen nobody cleaned is a natural one, and kids connect to what is happening right now.
5. Ask whether a modern rule is wisdom or just habit. Shaun and his wife questioned why their son had to sleep alone, learned co-sleeping is the historical norm, and he still grew up remarkably independent.

"We expect too much independence of our toddlers and little ones, but too much dependence of our teenagers." - Dr. Samuel Latimer

"No, we need you. You are a valuable part of this household, and we need you." - Dr. Samuel Latimer

"Carry it because you're needed. You are needed right now to bring this in the door." - Dr. Samuel Latimer