Talking with Our Sons about Consent and Speaking Up with Tiffany Braxton
In this episode of Raising Men, host Shaun Dawson sits down with Tiffany Braxton, author of Consent Comics, for her third conversation on the show. After the news out of Cornell, Shaun wanted help talking with kids about consent without getting pulled into the culture war. Tiffany shares how she talked it through with her 12-year-old son, and why it was easy. It was one more chapter in a conversation they had been having for years. She also tells the story of her 15-year-old daughter waiting alone after a festival, and why she told her that feeling vulnerable was a good thing. Shaun opens up about a night in his twenties when he almost stood by and did nothing. Together they talk about pressure, good faith, and teaching boys to step in. You'll leave with simple ways to start these talks at any age, from seven to seventeen.
Key Takeaways
Make consent an ongoing conversation. Tiffany's talk with her son about Cornell was easy because it built on years of small talks about how to treat people, including what he'd seen in his older sisters' relationships.
Teach the reason under the rules: valuing yourself and valuing other people. A kid who truly cares about someone tends to practice consent naturally, even without a script for every scenario.
Let your kids keep their alarm bells. When her daughter said she felt vulnerable waiting after dark, Tiffany told her that feeling was good. Shaun calls this the gap between the species (the world we're working toward) and the specimen (the risk your child faces tonight).
Start young with pressure and headspace. With a seven-year-old, ask how a friend feels when three kids all push him to play a game he doesn't want. A real choice needs a clear head and no crowd leaning on it.
Practice the moment before it arrives. Shaun separates the "Sherlock Holmes brain" (what you know) from the "Conan brain" (what you actually do under stress). Only rehearsal trains the second one, so keep asking "what would you do?" long before college.
Key Takeaways
Make consent an ongoing conversation. Tiffany's talk with her son about Cornell was easy because it built on years of small talks about how to treat people, including what he'd seen in his older sisters' relationships.
Teach the reason under the rules: valuing yourself and valuing other people. A kid who truly cares about someone tends to practice consent naturally, even without a script for every scenario.
Let your kids keep their alarm bells. When her daughter said she felt vulnerable waiting after dark, Tiffany told her that feeling was good. Shaun calls this the gap between the species (the world we're working toward) and the specimen (the risk your child faces tonight).
Start young with pressure and headspace. With a seven-year-old, ask how a friend feels when three kids all push him to play a game he doesn't want. A real choice needs a clear head and no crowd leaning on it.
Practice the moment before it arrives. Shaun separates the "Sherlock Holmes brain" (what you know) from the "Conan brain" (what you actually do under stress). Only rehearsal trains the second one, so keep asking "what would you do?" long before college.
"Listening with your ears and realizing that you have biased ears just as much as they have a biased mouth." - Tiffany Braxton
"We teach our kids according to the reality of this world, not according to what we want." - Tiffany Braxton
"I didn't say I wish you didn't feel that way. I said, actually, it's really good that you feel that way." - Tiffany Braxton
Chapters
00:00:00 Welcome Back and Cornell Fears
00:02:58 Consent Starts with Valuing People
00:04:24 Telling Her Son About Cornell
00:09:11 Alarm Bells at the Festival
00:11:17 The Specimen and the Species
00:14:38 Consent Lessons for a Seven-Year-Old
00:17:35 Healthy Masculinity's Bias Toward Protection
00:20:43 The Night He Almost Didn't
00:24:03 Training the Conan Brain Early
00:29:33 Why Accusatory Messaging Loses Men
00:32:01 Teaching Boys to Disagree Well
00:35:06 Biased Ears and Good Faith
Links and Websites
Consent Comics: https://consentcomics.com
How Parents Can Teach Respect and Boundaries at Home with Tiffany Braxton: https://raising.men/episodes/building-castles-of-respect-and-boundaries-with-tiffany-braxton
Redefining Consent for Every Area of Life with Tiffany Braxton: https://raising.men/episodes/redefining-consent-for-every-area-of-life-with-tiffany-braxton