The End of the Lone Cowboy: Redefining Strength for the Next Generation with Ken Mossman
In this conversation, Shaun sits down with Ken Mossman, leadership coach and host of Mojo for the Modern Man, to dismantle one of the most enduring myths in manhood — the “lone wolf” and “self-made man.” Together, they explore what it truly means for men to live with courage, connection, and curiosity in an age of isolation.
Key Takeaways / Topics Covered
- The Lone Wolf is a Lie - Both Ken and Shaun dismantle the myth of the “self-made man” and the “lone cowboy.”
- Connection Requires Courage - Men often equate vulnerability with weakness, but the real courage is in showing the cards.
- Modeling Connection for Sons - Fathers teach by example. When they hide struggle, children inherit shame and perfectionism. When they model honesty, curiosity, and openness, they teach resilience and belonging.
- Loneliness vs. Junk Connection - Social media feels like community but isn’t. Shaun calls it “junk connection — like potato chips: fine in small doses, but if that’s all you eat, you starve.” Real nourishment comes from face-to-face relationships and shared vulnerability.
- Practical Starting Points
- Reach out to a friend you haven’t talked to in a while.
- Ask (and answer) “How are you really?”
- Join or start a men’s group — church-based, local, or Mankind Project-style.
- Give and receive help with grace; both are acts of generosity.
“Have the discipline to move through the world with wild curiosity.” - Ken Mossman
“Social media isn’t connection. It’s junk connection — and if that’s your only source of nourishment, you’re starving.” - Ken Mossman
“We’ve been told that strength means doing it all alone — but real strength looks more like being part of a pack, not pretending to be a lone wolf.” - Shaun Dawson
Timestamps / Chapter Markers
- 00:02 – Welcome and guest intro
- 00:40 – Where Ken is joining from
- 00:51 – The “lone wolf” myth
- 01:12 – Why fierce independence persists
- 02:37 – The not-so “self-made” man
- 03:56 – We stand on shoulders of giants
- 04:29 – Dreams still need a team
- 04:45 – Humility and asking for help
- 05:14 – Burnout from doing everything
- 05:24 – Shaun’s early fatherhood disconnect
- 07:41 – Naming shame without drowning in it
- 08:09 – What made Shaun open up
- 08:19 – A friend’s hidden decade of struggle
- 10:39 – Authority vs curiosity in men
- 12:12 – Why men avoid “I don’t know”
- 14:08 – Loneliness stats and concern
- 14:30 – Few close friends for many men
- 16:08 – Let others help you
- 17:08 – The give and receive “math”
- 18:12 – Generosity in receiving well
- 19:46 – Candle and campfire metaphor
- 20:23 – Info overload vs isolation
- 21:03 – Social media is not connection
- 21:53 – Performative feeds and algorithms
- 24:58 – Admitting “I am lonely”
- 25:42 – Belonging in echo chambers
- 26:10 – Modeling for our kids
- 27:26 – What example are we setting
- 29:48 – “You’re acting like a four-year-old”
- 31:00 – Meeting kids at their level
- 32:27 – Catching your own anger spiral
- 35:02 – Perfectionism shows up early
- 37:02 – Checklists beat memory
- 39:29 – Schooling, grades, and identity
- 41:30 – Authority with fallibility
- 43:02 – Permission to fail with grace
- 45:02 – When kids do not mirror you
- 46:33 – Tactical steps to reconnect
- 47:15 – Reach out first
- 48:20 – “How are you” vs “How are you really”
- 51:35 – Do the handshake then go deep
- 53:31 – Find a men’s group
- 55:29 – Rebuilding lost institutions
- 55:57 – Online groups need curation
- 56:24 – Nothing beats face to face
- 57:44 – One principle request
- 58:32 – “Wild curiosity” as a discipline
- 58:41 – Thanks and wrap-up
- 59:05 – Off-mic close
Supporting Content
- Mojo for the Modern Man — Ken Mossman’s podcast on manhood and connection
- Mankind Project & Everyman — structured men’s groups fostering community
- Raising Boys by Design by Gregory L. Jantz and Michael Gurian
- The Mask of Masculinity by Lewis Howes
- Of Boys and Men by Richard Reeves
- Everyman - men's community and platform helping men build connection, vulnerability and brotherhood