In this episode of Raising Men, host Shaun Dawson sits down with James Bullard, a storyteller, performer, coach and host of the Radical Joy podcast. Together they explore why boys learn to hide their joy, and how parents can help their sons keep it. James grew up in rural Alabama as the boy who was always a little too happy. He shares how his mother protected that spark, and why he believes joy works like a muscle that grows with use. Shaun opens up about the day he turned his cheek when his young son went to kiss him, and what that moment taught him. They also talk about updating outdated dreams, letting go of old grievances, and why so many of us fear success. You’ll walk away with a simple way to support your son, even when his choices surprise you. Kids need to feel safe, supported and seen.
Key Takeaways
- Treat joy like a muscle. James says it gets stronger when you use it and weaker when you hold it back, so let your son see you enjoy things out loud.
- Showing a feeling and having it are connected. Shaun found that holding back affection from his son also dulled the love he felt, so show it when you feel it.
- Kids notice small differences. A toddler who kisses mom and gets a turned cheek from dad takes that in long before he has words for it.
- Update the dream. James asks men what they want today, as a parent and spouse in this season of life, because letting go of an outdated dream is not failure.
- Save your “no” for safety. Ask whether a choice will actually hurt your child. If it won’t, support it, and your no will carry weight when it really counts.
“Joy, like so many other things, I like to think about it like a muscle. If you train it, it grows.” - James Bullard
“Letting go of an outdated dream is not failure.” - James Bullard
“Children need exploration. They need discipline, they need structure, they need boundaries. What they don’t need is judgment.” - James Bullard
00:00:00 Facing Obstacles with Curious Questions
00:00:39 Meet Storyteller and Coach James
00:02:09 The Happy Kid Seemed Weird
00:04:01 Letting Go of Needing Certainty
00:05:34 Why Grown Men Hide Joy
00:09:42 A Mother Who Protected Joy
00:11:24 Turning a Cheek to Love
00:14:48 Letting Go of Outdated Dreams
00:17:17 When Grievance Becomes a Prophecy
00:24:13 The Real Fear of Succeeding
00:28:44 Support as the Guiding Principle
00:33:03 The Christmas Whoopsie Doll Story
00:00:39 Meet Storyteller and Coach James
00:02:09 The Happy Kid Seemed Weird
00:04:01 Letting Go of Needing Certainty
00:05:34 Why Grown Men Hide Joy
00:09:42 A Mother Who Protected Joy
00:11:24 Turning a Cheek to Love
00:14:48 Letting Go of Outdated Dreams
00:17:17 When Grievance Becomes a Prophecy
00:24:13 The Real Fear of Succeeding
00:28:44 Support as the Guiding Principle
00:33:03 The Christmas Whoopsie Doll Story
Books, Links and Frameworks Mentioned
James Bullard coaching (personal, business leadership, creativity and storytelling): https://thebullardbrand.com
Radical Joy podcast (Apple Podcasts, Spotify and wherever you listen)
Navigating the Pink Light with Mayra Clay and Marc Krusin: https://raising.men/episodes/navigating-the-pink-light-with-mayra-clay-and-marc-krusin
James Bullard coaching (personal, business leadership, creativity and storytelling): https://thebullardbrand.com
Radical Joy podcast (Apple Podcasts, Spotify and wherever you listen)
Navigating the Pink Light with Mayra Clay and Marc Krusin: https://raising.men/episodes/navigating-the-pink-light-with-mayra-clay-and-marc-krusin
